We can all breath a collective sigh of relief. Twinkies will be back in stores next week. (Hey, that kind of rhymed!)
Not only will these packaged sponge cakes taste the same, a spokesperson for Hostess Brands LLC said the items will last 45 days. The old Twinkies only lasted a measly 26. Also, some of them will be frozen, allowing certain retailers to stamp their own expiration date on the cakes. You can expect to see ’em–now freakishly longer lasting than ever–back on the shelf July 15.
Personally, this does not affect me. I never ate Twinkies and never will. But I remember when Hostess announced they would be closing and I was sent on assignment to different Hutchinson stores to try and find the last Twinkies. They were gone within the day. All of them. Sure, a few of the less in-demand Hostess items were left, but no Twinkies.
(In fact, I have a box of Hostess Cup Cakes hidden in my drawer from that expedition. Stupidly, I put the box next to my scented Lysol trash bags and, true to their sponge-nature, the cupcakes absorbed the Lysol scent. I only found this out after giving one to our old photo intern. Sorry, Aaron!)
Although I will not personally rejoice at the Twinkies’ return, I get the hype. They’re nostalgic in a way that only food can be. As Pat Sangimino said in a column after Hostess’ announced its closure in November, we are a nostalgic culture and we gravitate towards things that made us happy when life was simpler. For me, that food is Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
So yes, thanks to Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co., the Twinkie will be back and will last longer than ever. And while they spokesperson insists the yellow cream-filled sponge will be the same as it was before, I wonder whether it will ever matter how it tastes.
-Kayla Regan, Current Conditions